A new-ish contact reached out to invite me to her networking event this week. I was flattered. I am, by nature, a social person and I've built my consulting business with networking and connecting with others at the forefront of how I do business. I genuinely enjoy meeting new people. I thrive on meeting, talking and engaging others. I don't think I could be successful if I didn't surround myself with people who match my energy.
So I quickly accepted and blocked out my calendar. A few days before the event, I got a follow up email and it turns out, the networking group was one I had attended before. I actually really liked the people in the group and I made a few contacts that I've kept over time. However, the group wasn't the right fit for my business.
I didn't want to mislead my hostess, so I reached out and explained that I had been to the group before, and it wasn't the right fit - so I understood if she would rather invite someone else. To her credit, she did say she'd still like me to join as her guest and I said ok. But the more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to go - I have a lot going on, kids are moving home from college, family is visiting from out of town, client work is a lot, plus my in the business work takes time.
For the first time in a long time - I wanted to say no. But I also didn't want to let my new friend down - after all, she went to the trouble of inviting me and even when I told her I wasn't likely joining her group she insisted I come.
Enter a group of amazing ladies, a taco Tuesday and a pitcher of margaritas! We talked about all kinds of things - life, family, parenting, vacations, business, menopause, books, politics, how to improve our server's attitude and I shared my dilemma about attending the event. They ALL - without hesitation - told me to just say no. (Oh yeah, we also talked about weed.) They reminded me that my time is limited and I don't have to say yes to things that don't benefit me.
I came home and emailed the person who invited me and explained that I was going to decline her invitation to the event, but I'd like to stay connected. I shared that it really wasn't for me, but that I appreciated the invite. She responded graciously and was very understanding. She too would like to stay connected and we'll plan a coffee or a lunch sometime soon!
The moral of the story here is you don't have to do things that don't fit your business or your life. You should be thoughtful and polite. It's ok to change your mind and it's ok to say "no thank you" when the offer or invitation doesn't fit. It was a relief when I declined and I don't think the inviter minded much. We all have to make the next right decision for us. I'm grateful for the supporters in my life who gave me the push I needed to reclaim my time.
